Tuesday, November 19, 2013

10 Things That Can Hurt Your Child's Self-Esteem


Self-esteem.  We all want our kids to have it.  We hear tons about HOW to improve our child's self-esteem. What we sometimes don't know are the things that can actually HURT our child's burgeoning sense of self.

Recently, I was asked by the Mother Company (whom I adore), to whip up a list of about 10 things that can actually hurt a child's self-esteem.  It took a little work for my brain to backwards engineer a list...cuz I'm usually such a "glass half-full", "what works", strength-based kind of gal.  But in creating this list, I realized there really are so many things we could do, but don't...or aren't aware of, but should be, when it comes to helping kids build a great sense of self.

Here's an excerpt from my piece on The Mother Company's site:

The things we think may boost our child's self-assurance may actually backfire.  There are a few steps you can take to avoid these pitfalls.  I’ve outlined 10 things to avoid if you wish to boost your child’s belief in herself:

Don’t constantly praise your child.

Sounds peculiar, doesn’t it?  Most of us have likely been raised to believe that praise helps build self-esteem. While it’s true that kids need positive feedback, a constant barrage of, “You’re so wonderful…you’re so smart…you’re the best soccer player,” does not help a child grow in confidence.  Instead, work towards praising specific things your child has done, regardless of the outcome.  Rather than saying, “Oh, you are the best artist.  I love how beautifully you draw,” try, “Wow!  This is so colorful!  You took so much time and care in drawing it.  Let’s find a place to hang it so we can look at it often!”  Notice the subtle difference...READ MORE HERE.


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Helping kids deal with feelings is one component of self-esteem.  You can find all of our resources to help kids deal with feelings HERE.


Nicole said...

Your link is not working

Mrs. Labrum said...

Links don't go anywhere.

ncibotti said...

Link still not working. Perhaps you can resend when the link is working so I don't have to keep checking.

Ashley Wells said...

Thanks for sharing this post, this can be an eye opener to all parents, sometimes we did not know to our actions that we hurt already to our children.


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