Self-esteem. We all want our kids to have it. We hear tons about HOW to improve our child's self-esteem. What we sometimes don't know are the things that can actually HURT our child's burgeoning sense of self.
Recently, I was asked by the Mother Company (whom I adore), to whip up a list of about 10 things that can actually hurt a child's self-esteem. It took a little work for my brain to backwards engineer a list...cuz I'm usually such a "glass half-full", "what works", strength-based kind of gal. But in creating this list, I realized there really are so many things we could do, but don't...or aren't aware of, but should be, when it comes to helping kids build a great sense of self.
Here's an excerpt from my piece on The Mother Company's site:
The things we think may boost our child's self-assurance may actually backfire. There are a few steps you can take to avoid these pitfalls. I’ve outlined 10 things to avoid if you wish to boost your child’s belief in herself:
Don’t constantly praise your child.
Sounds peculiar, doesn’t it? Most of us have likely been raised to believe that praise helps build self-esteem. While it’s true that kids need positive feedback, a constant barrage of, “You’re so wonderful…you’re so smart…you’re the best soccer player,” does not help a child grow in confidence. Instead, work towards praising specific things your child has done, regardless of the outcome. Rather than saying, “Oh, you are the best artist. I love how beautifully you draw,” try, “Wow! This is so colorful! You took so much time and care in drawing it. Let’s find a place to hang it so we can look at it often!” Notice the subtle difference...READ MORE HERE.
You Might Also Enjoy:
Helping kids deal with feelings is one component of self-esteem. You can find all of our resources to help kids deal with feelings HERE.