Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Helping Tweens and Teens Through Separation and Divorce

Welcome back to the second part of our series on divorce.  Our first post focused on helping young children cope with separation and divorce, while today's post will focus on tweens and teens.  No matter a child's age, they are impacted by their parents' divorce.

I recently sat down to complete a video podcast with Annie Fox of Family Confidential to discuss ways parents can help tweens and teens cope with the life changing transition of divorce.

Listen in, and be sure to poke around on Annie's site for great information on other topics.

(PS...At the 3:57 mark, I talk about "...parent first, deal with your own feelings second," which is quite a difficult task to undertake and contrary to the notion, "put on your own oxygen mask, first," with which I 100% agree.  It's not an oxymoron. An oxygen mask takes mere seconds to put on. Dealing with our emotional strife takes much, much longer.  It is absolutely essential we do not emotionally abandon kids during times of difficulty, such as divorce or grief.  We must, as parents, find a way to tend to our own emotional needs, while simultaneously providing the same to our children.  That poses challenges for parents who are hurting emotionally themselves. In such situations, identifying support people who can assist your child is imperative.  Start with your school counselor, or ask for a referral for a therapist from your family doctor.)

See the interviews of my friends and colleagues: 

Dr. Lynne Kenney on Bloom Method: Helping Children Blossom

Louse Masin Sattler on Accommodating Classrooms

Dr. Beth Onufrak on kids and emotional meltdowns

Sue Atkins on not being your kids' friend

Deborah McNelis on play and brain development

Dr. Kimberly Palmiotto on kids and learning differences

There are so many great things to learn on the Family Confidential site!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Helping Young Children Through Separation and Divorce: Part I

Free Podcast can be found HERE.

Helping Kids Through Separation and Divorce

Separation and divorce represent a trying time for everyone.  Feelings run amok, emotions are high and several changes take place for everyone in the family. 

In this two-part series, we'll be taking a look at how you can support your kids (Part I) and teens (Part II) through your separation and divorce. 

We Can't Shield Kids from Painful Experiences

No matter your child's age you might wish to shield him from painful experiences.  While that comes from a nurturing spot in your heart, it really isn't practical.  We cannot shield our kids from painful experiences, and we do them no service when we try.  A preferable approach is to explain things to them in a developmentally appropriate way and provide them with the skills and tools they need to cope.  The truth is always the best approach.

Free Podcast

I was interviewed by Melitsa Avila of Raising Playful Tots awhile ago, and she asked questions related to helping younger children adjust to the momentous changes a separation or divorce can bring.  To hear that podcast, go HERE.

More to Come in Part II

In our next post, we'll address some of the tricky topics involved in helping older kids and teens navigate the changes a divorce brings.  I was recently interviewed by Annie Fox of Family Confidential and we covered all things "older kids and teens".  We'll link it right here when it goes live!

Resources that can Help You Help Your Child

Need more support? Kidlutions has helped kids and teens deal with divorce for more than 25 years.  Our resources are available as instant downloads.  It's help at your fingertips, when you need it most!

(ages 3-10)

This resource is our latest one in the Kidlutions' line-up of
self-help resources for kids.  It's 45 pages of targeted help for
use by parents or clinicians.  You can read all about it

Our original and time-tested resource that helps kids process
and better deal with their feelings related to divorce.
This resource has helped thousands of kids across the globe.
Find it HERE.


Rosalind coined the term "child-centered" divorce and she lived it.
Check out her resource HERE.

More Articles on Kidlutions related to divorce:

In happier times and in difficult time, we know your love shines through for your children.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Playful Ways to Help Kids Cope with Divorce

This product is an instant download, as are all Kidlutions' products.

Divorce Changes Life as a Child Knows It

You know your child feels the effects of your pending or recent divorce. You may wonder how to best support him with this monumental life transition. It is possible and we can show you how.

A divorce represents a huge departure from life as a child knows it.  Along with it can come stress, anxiety, anger, sadness and a host of other feelings related to these changes. Parents often wonder about the best way to support their children through this major life event. School counselors, social workers and therapists look for quality interventions that are FUN, relevant and timely.  

Help Kids Cope with Divorce

That's why we created "King or Queen for a Day: Playful Ways to Help Kids Cope with Divorce". Giving kids a vehicle to express themselves, to verbalize their internal states, wishes and needs can go a long way towards helping them cope. When you do it in a way that is based on BOTH early childhood and mental health best practices, you have a winning combination. While it is true that we cannot protect kids from life's challenges and difficult moments, we can arm them with the skills and tools it takes to weather any storm and emerge with their sense of self intact.

Powerful Interventions that Transform Lives

We are pleased to bring you this powerful intervention tool that is perfect for use at home, school, therapy and counseling offices, and MORE. This package is the culmination of 30 years of clinical experience. Kidlutions has helped thousands of kids across the globe cope with divorce See everything we cover below.

Here's What You Get


45 pages of best-practices content you'll turn to again and again. This product is an instant download, as are all Kidlutions' products.  

For use in:

Therapy Offices

Download/Payment Information:

You will receive a link directly to your inbox after purchase.  The link is sent to the email from which the Pay Pal payment originated. 

(Yes, you can use major credit cards with Pay Pal.  Pay Pal accepts payments worldwide. It is a safe and secure online banking system.  We have used it at Kidlutions since we opened our doors and have never had a problem!)  

The Rising Cost of Therapy

If you brought your child to my office, it would take a minimum of five visits to get the content delivered in this package.  The intake alone would cost $250.00, then up to $150.00 per follow up visit.  That's a whopping total of $850.00.  That cost can be prohibitive, even with insurance co-pays.

Helping Your Child On Your Own 

You cannot put a price on your child's welfare, I know. When your child is in emotional distress, you want to help him feel better.  You know you can't take away the pain, but you do want to do something to lessen it, or at least to make it go away quicker than if he were left to his own devices. It's just what parents are naturally programmed to do.  But with insurance premiums skyrocketing and divorce costs already mounting, you may try to help your child as best you can on your own. Anything you do to alleviate your child's emotional turmoil is admirable. We're happy to be part of an affordable solution, for those in need.

Help at Your Fingertips

With this package, help is at your fingertips.  Literally.

This package is available for just $49.99, for use by one person/family.  


(Scroll down for multi-user)

Add to Cart

The package is available for multi-users at $69.99 (see definition of multi-users below).

SPECIAL OFFER of $60.00 - 


Add to Cart

NOTE: If this product is being used by multiple teachers, clinicians or agency-wide, please purchase the multi-user version. The multi-user license grants you permission to use the product by several by several people, at a substantial savings from purchasing separately.

Thanks for making a difference in the life of a child.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Emily's Hope, Fibular Hememelia and How You Can Help: An Opportunity for Kindness and Compassion

Children's Hospital of Michigan/Children's DMC.org

Once Upon a Time 
Like me, you may never have heard of fibular hememelia.  This post hopes to change all that.  You see, once upon a time, I went to college with a group of gals at MSU with whom I have maintained relationships for more than 30 years.  Recently, I learned that one of those friends has a daughter who is facing a life-changing surgery this week.  Her condition: fibular hememelia. When I heard of this,  I knew I had to help get the word out about this beautiful young woman, her struggles and hope for a better tomorrow.  Both Emily and her mom agreed to share her story.  A very brave girl, indeed.  After surgery, she faces up to a year of rehab and treatment, followed by another surgery.  What's more, is that she is courageous enough to share about her experiences so that maybe another child can benefit. Here is her story, told by her mother, my friend: 

    Emily's Story 
Emily is a 15 year old girl who was born with a limb deformity called fibular hememelia. She is missing part of her fibula, ankle bone and her little toe.Her right foot was twisted backwards (see photo).

Emily as a baby.  Prior to any surgery.

She had surgery at 6 months old to correct her foot (see photo below) so she could learn to walk. As she grew, the left leg grew normally, but the right leg didn't and the length discrepancy has grown every year. Now her right leg is almost 4 inches shorter than the left so she walks with a pronounced limp. Kids can be cruel and she has been teased frequently. 

Emily after her surgery at 6 months of age.

No Great Treatment Options 
We have been seeking treatment for years but the options were so hideous (amputation, or the popular external fixater cuff with pins sticking out of the leg). There is a huge risk of infection with the latter treatment. We would never consider amputation. The only two hospitals in Michigan that deal with this disability are the University of Michigan medical center and Children's Hospital of Detroit.
    Cutting Edge Treatment 
There is a brand new, cutting edge procedure that was just approved in the United States and has never been performed in Michigan. The new technique is called "Precice Nail" and is performed by cutting the bone and inserting a "nail."  Four times a day for seven months we will apply an extremely strong magnet that will lengthen the bone. Everything is internal.
    The surgery will take place at Children's Hospital of Michigan, under  
    the skilled hands of Emily's surgeon, Dr. Ahmed Bazzi,  this week.

   Pain, but Gain 
The most difficult and painful part of the procedure is the physical therapy to lengthen the muscles and tissues along with the bone. It is excruciatingly painful. After 7 months, or as long as she can tolerate, she will have another surgery to remove the nail and another long pin that will be inserted to stabilize her ankle throughout the process. After that, she will a boot on her foot for several weeks while everything stabilizes, so when it's all said and done, the process will probably take close to a year. 
This is a huge undertaking for Emily and the family and all good wishes are appreciated!
It's Not Over, Yet!

Now you know the story can't end here!  If you've ever had a child who faced a medical issue, you know how imperative support can be.   If your child has never faced a major medical issue, you are likely filled with gratitude.  Chances are, if you read this blog, you are concerned about social-emotional skills and teaching your child to reach out and be kind to everyone.  Sometimes that includes perfect strangers.  They always say the true measure of our kindness is when we do something for someone who can never pay us back.  Here's your chance.

Send Love 

Let's show Emily some love by sending cards, letters and even hand-drawn pictures from your little ones to brighten up Emily's recovery period, which will be a long one.  Let's show some Kidlutions' lovin' to a gal who could use your support.

Send your greetings and good wishes to:

Patrick Seeberg/Emily
1301 West Long Lake Road, Suite 300
Troy, MI 48098

There's More

Emily's recovery will be a long, arduous journey.  There are plans in place to start a facebook page to support her over the long haul.  Please check back here soon, to find all the details.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart!

Oh, and One More Thing

The day this posts is Emily's birthday!  It will be the last birthday she spends with one leg much longer than the other.  Now, that's something to celebrate!

Happy Birthday, Emily!

Monday, September 1, 2014

Angry Kids: Over a Dozen Ways to Help

Anger Comes in All Shapes and Sizes

Anger comes in all shapes and sizes.  Small, medium, large and the dreaded super-sized.  Truth is, we don't have to fear any feeling, even those super-sized ones.  All of them can be managed and we can teach kids how to shrink them down...yes, even the super-sized ones!

What Does a Little Kid Have to Be Angry About?

It was quite interesting to me when, over a decade ago, I created an anger management group for children in a school.  It was broken down into early elementary and upper elementary.  Someone asked, "Really? What does a little kid/Kindergartener have to be angry about?"  To which I promptly replied, "Plenty!"  That early elementary anger management group filled up quicker than I could blink my eyes.  In fact, I believe I ran two sections of it!

Helping Kids Deal with BIG Angry Feelings

If you parent, teach or provide services to a child with BIG angry feelings, we've got a few resources that might be of help.  We've gathered up the posts that may be of interest and put all the links right here, in this handy post.  Feel free to bookmark it and reference it, as needed.

In no particular order, here they are:



14. Creating a Calm Family

We hope you find something that's helpful!


Back-to-School with Kidluitons: 50% off until Tuesday 9.2.14

This special has ended!
We run several sales throughout 
the year.  Sign up for our mailing list
to be alerted to future sales!
Go HERE to sign-up!

In the meantime, you can still get 
both of these resources at a great price!

Instant Download

Get all the details  HERE.
Instant Download

Get all the details HERE.

Written on the banks of the Jamestown Reservoir in North Dakota!

NOTE: All of Kidlutions' products are
delivered in PDF download format.
No physical product will be shipped.

If you have any trouble with your order, just contact us

Your satisfaction is our number one goal!
We respond within one business day!

Friday, August 22, 2014

The 5 Things Teens Should Know About Negative Thinking
Negative thinking affects much more than just your thoughts.  It can affect your mental health, your physical health and your success in life.  This ripple effect just keeps on going, if left unchecked. 
 As a therapist, I work with both children and teens on a variety of issues, but a common denominator comes down to thoughts.  Negative thoughts, to be exact. 
So, watch those thoughts! 
Here are five things you should keep in mind about negative thoughts:
  1. They multiply.  Negative thoughts seem to take on a life of their own.  They almost become larger than life.  Once you get in a pattern of negative thinking, it can become difficult to break free!
  1. They keep you from being your best self.  Negative thoughts hold you back in every way.  They rob you of your confidence and stop you in your tracks.
  1. They stand in the way of your success.  When your thoughts make you feel down and out, you are less likely to branch out and try new things, or set higher goals for yourself.
  1. They make you feel lousy.  Confidence and self-esteem take a dive when negative thoughts are on the scene.
  1. They CAN be changed! You can change those negative thoughts into positive ones!  It takes time and practice, but over time, a huge difference can be made in how you feel and how well you do in all areas of your life.

Be sure to see our signature product, Feelings Mountain, that helps tweens and teens deal with BIG feelings, including ways to turn their thinking around and so much more.  Therapeutic strength interventions.  Two versions are available: Personal Use and Professional Use (with license to use on multiple clients).


Find out all about it HERE, and see what our best pricing is currently.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Feelings Mountain: A Resource To Help Tweens, Teens and Beyond Deal with Difficult Feelings

If you know a tween or teen who continues to get tripped up by BIG feelings, you are not alone.  I have worked with tweens, teens AND adults with this exact concern for years.  They come to my office, and then we set to work on helping them learn new tools to change it all around for the BETTER! Through the years, I've found out what has been most helpful, and now I'm happy to be able to share it with those who may benefit the most!  

The Cost of NOT Doing Anything

We know that failure to deal with feelings appropriately can lead to dysfunction, as well as anxiety and depression.  

The Beauty of Learning Better Coping Skills

Being able to process and resolve difficult feelings can enhance one’s overall well-being and satisfaction in life.

This resource can help when:

~ Emotions are complex, confusing, and difficult to understand

~ Feelings are hard to shake

~ Feelings linger longer than the event that actually caused them 

~ Emotions interfere with a person’s functioning

This resource is made specifically for middle school and high school students, but is also appropriate for use with college-aged students and adults who are struggling with similar issues.  

This workbook will help the reader understand how and why feelings can become overwhelming. 

This workbook teaches the difference between primary and secondary feelings and focuses on three of the most common primary feelings on which we get tripped up:

~ We’ll look at the 5 Ways Secondary Feelings Cause Problems in our Lives


~ We’ll share FACTS about FEELINGS.


~ We’ll share 5 Ways to Deal with DIFFICULT FEELINGS

~ The difference between UPSETTING and UPLIFTING thoughts, and how to change them from one to the other.

~ We’ll help the reader develop their own coping plan

~ Finally, we share how to make it all work for the LONG HAUL

What You'll Get

You'll get more than 50 pages of therapeutic grade interventions, steeped in best practices and research-based interventions that I use in my own office every day.

Here's just a brief, sneak-peek at what's inside:

This Isn't Therapy...But Here's How It Can Help 

While this resource is NOT a substitute for therapy, it does provide the very same tools and information you can obtain in therapy.  At times, a therapist is warranted to help individuals process events and their thought processes.  

Other times, people are capable of reading, learning new skills and incorporating them into their lives on their own. That is what this resource can do for some.  Others may wish to use these activities with a therapist, counselor or coach.

Assistance At Your Fingertips

The activities included in this resource would take about four sessions individually with me to go over and process.  Those four sessions would amount to a total of $580.00.  But you won't pay that for this resource.  

This resource provides assistance at your fingertips.  It will retail for a fraction of that amount...just $89.99 for personal use and $129.00 for professional use (with license to use with as many clients as you wish).

Two versions are available:

For your own private individual use at home:
Just $89.00

Add to Cart


For use by therapists, coaches, etc...comes with license to use with as many clients as you care to:

Just $129.00

Add to Cart

Terms: As an instant download, there is no way to return this product to us. We have given you an outline of what is included in this resource, and these techniques are known to us to be some of the best and most effective ways to deal with and process feelings.  Results cannot be guaranteed, as results are only as good as the effort put forth, and the consistent application of these techniques.

Here's what one professional user had to say about this product:

Here's to helping tweens/teens deal with feelings in a healthy manner!

Wendy =)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...